{"id":769,"date":"2021-12-20T06:46:00","date_gmt":"2021-12-20T06:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/?p=769"},"modified":"2022-01-06T06:46:39","modified_gmt":"2022-01-06T06:46:39","slug":"everyones-afraid-of-being-considered-psychotic-the-story-of-a-girl-facing-depersonalization-and-panic-attacks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/everyones-afraid-of-being-considered-psychotic-the-story-of-a-girl-facing-depersonalization-and-panic-attacks\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cEveryone&#8217;s Afraid of being considered psychotic\u201d: The story of a girl facing depersonalization and panic attacks"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Something went&nbsp;wrong in&nbsp;March-April 2018&nbsp;.&nbsp;We&nbsp;&#8216;ve had a painful attachment to&nbsp;a married man much older than me, I have&nbsp;a lot of work, and&nbsp;wages long&nbsp;paid.&nbsp;So I&nbsp;started to walk and&nbsp;in&nbsp;solitude to drink rum.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>From time to time it began to seem to me that the world around was unreal, and&nbsp;that, perhaps, it was&nbsp;created by my imagination.&nbsp;I was really scared, and&nbsp;I&nbsp;thought that clinked.&nbsp;We&nbsp;&#8216;ve had problems with&nbsp;concentration, I&nbsp;slept on&nbsp;the go and&nbsp;do not&nbsp;understand why all the time such a state.&nbsp;I felt separate from&nbsp;everyone else.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Such sensations can arise not&nbsp;only with psychosis, but&nbsp;also&nbsp;with borderline states (neurotic).&nbsp;Do not&nbsp;be very scared and&nbsp;wind yourself up.&nbsp;This does not&nbsp;mean that the person is going&nbsp;crazy.&nbsp;Most likely, it is a neurosis that is being treated.&nbsp;If criticality is not&nbsp;lost, the person realizes that&nbsp;&#8220;something is&nbsp;wrong&nbsp;with&nbsp;him&#8221;&nbsp;&#8211; the psyche is preserved.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&nbsp;thought that now I will just solve the problems, and&nbsp;everything will be fine.&nbsp;From&nbsp;March to&nbsp;August, I was&nbsp;not&nbsp;going to ask for&nbsp;help.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>&#8220;I&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>was afraid of death,&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>I&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>was afraid that I would go&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>crazy right now&#8221;<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong><\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On&nbsp;May&nbsp;4&nbsp;, the first panic attack occurred.&nbsp;The day before, I was&nbsp;very nervous about the troubles with a&nbsp;friend.&nbsp;During a&nbsp;break at&nbsp;work I was sitting and&nbsp;reading a book, then I got up, and&nbsp;suddenly I became very scared.&nbsp;It seemed that everything was somehow too clear, like in a&nbsp;computer game.&nbsp;There was a feeling that I was&nbsp;in&nbsp;an enclosed space, and&nbsp;in&nbsp;my claustrophobia, I&#8217;m&nbsp;very much afraid&nbsp;&#8211; afraid of death, afraid that I shall go&nbsp;mad right now.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This attack ended&nbsp;within a few minutes, but&nbsp;now the attacks happened regularly and&nbsp;started to happen more often because I&nbsp;did nothing about&nbsp;it.&nbsp;Every time there was a very strong heartbeat, palms were sweating.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&nbsp;have lost my appetite, and&nbsp;I was&nbsp;very thin.&nbsp;Because of the new attacks, it was scary to leave the&nbsp;house, but&nbsp;I&nbsp;overpowered myself.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The fear of leaving the&nbsp;house is not&nbsp;always social anxiety.&nbsp;In&nbsp;this case, it is, for example, a consequence of&nbsp;<strong>panic disorder&nbsp;<\/strong>.&nbsp;A person thus avoids situations in&nbsp;which a panic attack may develop.&nbsp;With&nbsp;<strong>social phobia, the&nbsp;<\/strong>fear of communicating with&nbsp;people arises not&nbsp;as a result of panic attacks, but&nbsp;independently.&nbsp;Although he subsequently&nbsp;and&nbsp;can lead to&nbsp;panic disorder.&nbsp;We must look at what started earlier.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<strong><\/strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;<strong><\/strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Already when I&nbsp;found out my diagnosis, I&nbsp;began to ask friends.&nbsp;Many live with&nbsp;the&nbsp;same sensations!&nbsp;It&#8217;s just that no one&nbsp;shares it.&nbsp;Everyone is afraid that they&nbsp;will&nbsp;be&nbsp;considered crazy.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&nbsp;told&nbsp;my mother&nbsp;about&nbsp;what was happening.&nbsp;We decided that it was necessary to check hemoglobin and&nbsp;go to an&nbsp;ophthalmologist (I&nbsp;have poor eyesight, and&nbsp;during&nbsp;a panic attack I&nbsp;began to see unusually sharply).&nbsp;I&nbsp;passed everything that was prescribed to me, bypassed all the doctors&nbsp;&#8211; they told me that it was &#8220;vegetative-vascular dystonia.&#8221;&nbsp;And they&nbsp;summed up&nbsp;&#8211; well, that&#8217;s&nbsp;it, we probably&nbsp;wo&nbsp;n&#8217;t&nbsp;be able to&nbsp;do&nbsp;anything&nbsp;about it.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With&nbsp;depersonalization, panic attacks, pathological fears, you&nbsp;should&nbsp;not&nbsp;go to&nbsp;endocrinologists, neurologists, therapists&nbsp;&#8211; these are specialists of a slightly different profile.&nbsp;Problems may be similar to&nbsp;their&nbsp;pathology, but&nbsp;if a diagnosis is not made&nbsp;and&nbsp;treatment does not&nbsp;help&nbsp;,&nbsp;<strong>you need to&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>visit a psychotherapist&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>as&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>soon&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>as&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>possible&nbsp;<\/strong>.&nbsp;Then there will be a chance to solve the problem without&nbsp;resorting to&nbsp;medication.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<strong><\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong><\/strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of the&nbsp;specialists&nbsp;I&nbsp;did not&nbsp;apply to, psychologists and&nbsp;psychotherapists&nbsp;remained&nbsp;.&nbsp;First, I&nbsp;went to a&nbsp;psychologist at&nbsp;work and&nbsp;received advice that &#8220;we must learn to relax.&#8221;&nbsp;This put me in&nbsp;a dead end, because I&nbsp;and&nbsp;so knew it.&nbsp;I needed to answer the&nbsp;question &#8220;how?&#8221; And&nbsp;not&nbsp;&#8220;what?&#8221;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The attacks were repeated.&nbsp;It seemed to me that either everything around me could disappear, or I&nbsp;\u2019ll go crazy&nbsp;right now&nbsp;,&nbsp;I&nbsp;don\u2019t&nbsp;get&nbsp;home.&nbsp;I&#8217;m&nbsp;not&nbsp;able to have none at all&nbsp;about&nbsp;what to think, not&nbsp;able to work.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>&#8220;The&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>first thing&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>I did&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>at the&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>psychotherapist&#8217;s&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>office was crying&#8221;<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong><\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I&nbsp;entered the&nbsp;door to the&nbsp;psychotherapist, to&nbsp;Nino Anatolyevna, the first thing I did was&nbsp;cry.&nbsp;She said that I was very scared, that I&nbsp;did not&nbsp;know what to&nbsp;do&nbsp;with&nbsp;it, and, probably, I\u2019m&nbsp;all, I\u2019m&nbsp;already completely helpless.&nbsp;The&nbsp;very&nbsp;first&nbsp;dialogue made me cheer up:&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nino Anatolyevna: Well,&nbsp;have you&nbsp;reached&nbsp;me now?&nbsp;Me: Yes.&nbsp;N.A .: Have you arrived yourself?&nbsp;Me: Yes, I say.&nbsp;NA: Yes,&nbsp;everything is&nbsp;fine&nbsp;with&nbsp;you.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<br><br><br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She conducted&nbsp;all the tests&nbsp;with&nbsp;me, prescribed tests, told me about mental disorders: there are organic lesions (ed. &#8211;&nbsp;gross damage to brain tissue from&nbsp;infection or, for example, trauma), there are borderline states and&nbsp;neuroses that happen to&nbsp;everyone.&nbsp;That&nbsp;is, psychiatry is not&nbsp;limited to schizophrenia alone.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After the examination, the psychotherapist said that&nbsp;I was most likely in a borderline state.&nbsp;Instructed to keep a diary of thoughts and&nbsp;gave me books on&nbsp;psychotherapy.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ashmeiba Nino Anatolyevna&nbsp;<\/strong>, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, doctor of the highest category:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The borderline state&nbsp;is&nbsp;<strong>the borderline between health and&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>pathology&nbsp;<\/strong>.&nbsp;This includes neuroses, psychopathies, psychogenias.&nbsp;&nbsp;<strong><\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Physical symptoms (palpitations, sweating) did not&nbsp;go away as quickly as desired, so the therapist suggested drugs.&nbsp;At first,&nbsp;they felt like I was&nbsp;flying in&nbsp;space.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nino Anatolyevna taught me about relaxation, and&nbsp;gave me to read about projective hypnosis, and&nbsp;then she did it.&nbsp;It was scary because I&nbsp;thought that during&nbsp;hypnosis I&nbsp;would not control myself.&nbsp;But&nbsp;it turned out to be something like meditation.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&nbsp;kept a diary of thoughts, talked to&nbsp;her about&nbsp;what was happening.&nbsp;It was easy to keep a diary.&nbsp;You&nbsp;do not&nbsp;delve into the&nbsp;events of the past that you do not remember well (childhood, parents), but you&nbsp;analyze the current situation, today&#8217;s factor and&nbsp;look at&nbsp;what thoughts it&nbsp;arose&nbsp;on the&nbsp;basis of&nbsp;, how many and&nbsp;what emotions it gives you.&nbsp;This work answers the&nbsp;question of what to do next.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At&nbsp;Alena all happened because she followed the recommendations have not&nbsp;renounced&nbsp;drugs and&nbsp;faithfully carry out the assignment, she worked herself, and&nbsp;not&nbsp;rely solely on the&nbsp;therapist.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>From&nbsp;late August to&nbsp;December, I&nbsp;went to see a&nbsp;psychotherapist.&nbsp;She gave me all the tools, from&nbsp;relaxation to&nbsp;awareness and&nbsp;control of the&nbsp;situation&nbsp;.&nbsp;Then you could work on your own.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&nbsp;understood&nbsp;what the role of the psychotherapist is.&nbsp;A psychotherapist&nbsp;is an ideal mirror, Nino Anatolyevna was an ideal mirror.&nbsp;She did not&nbsp;bring anything of her own, any of her convictions, she reflected&nbsp;what I think and&nbsp;feel&nbsp;.&nbsp;This is the most important thing in&nbsp;psychotherapy.&nbsp;She never&nbsp;answered for&nbsp;me&nbsp;&#8211; \u201cWell,&nbsp;you get it from&nbsp;this or&nbsp;that,\u201d as condescendingly as many love.&nbsp;The psychotherapist worked as a good moderator&nbsp;&#8211; she directed, but&nbsp;intervened to a minimum.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>&#8220;We&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>live like in the&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>stone age&#8221;<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong><\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Two weeks ago, I&nbsp;stopped my antidepressants completely.&nbsp;In the&nbsp;beginning,&nbsp;I had bad thoughts, a bad general condition, but&nbsp;now I&nbsp;felt inner peace.&nbsp;I&nbsp;figured out&nbsp;all my problems.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What prevented you from solving the problem earlier?&nbsp;I&nbsp;just didn&#8217;t&nbsp;know there were such ways.&nbsp;This is general illiteracy, an educational program is needed in&nbsp;schools and&nbsp;universities.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&nbsp;have a friend who works for a&nbsp;large consulting company.&nbsp;She says that a lot of people&nbsp;leave them with&nbsp;neuroses, because they are overworking for days, they want to achieve the transcendent, they fail.&nbsp;This is very common, just nobody&nbsp;talks&nbsp;about&nbsp;it&nbsp;.&nbsp;Everyone thinks that this is a shame, there is no&nbsp;need to&nbsp;work&nbsp;with&nbsp;it, there is no&nbsp;need to solve this problem.&nbsp;And&nbsp;this is how we&nbsp;live, like in the&nbsp;Stone Age.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Something went&nbsp;wrong in&nbsp;March-April 2018&nbsp;.&nbsp;We&nbsp;&#8216;ve had a painful attachment to&nbsp;a married man much older than me, I have&nbsp;a lot of work, and&nbsp;wages long&nbsp;paid.&nbsp;So I&nbsp;started to walk and&nbsp;in&nbsp;solitude to drink rum.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; From time to time it began to seem to me that the world around was unreal, and&nbsp;that, perhaps, it was&nbsp;created by<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/769"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=769"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/769\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":770,"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/769\/revisions\/770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=769"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=769"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stop-depression-info.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=769"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}