7 things you shouldn’t tell someone with anxiety

Many people suffer from generalized anxiety disorders, and fortunately, the problem is gradually improving. Talking openly about your problem is the best way to start healing. If you have a loved one who is prone to constant anxiety , your support and understanding can go a long way towards restoring their mental health and peace of mind.   

However, you can easily reverse progress or create alienation if you are not aware of your loved one’s problems. Here are seven common topics that you might find useful, but not worth talking about. And the words to be said.

1. Don’t say, “You have many reasons to be grateful.”

Anxiety is an attack on oneself. Fear has predictable results. Most people with chronic anxiety symptoms have spent an enormous amount of time trying to emphasize gratitude. When you say, “You should be grateful,” the anxious person hears, “I’m not doing enough to be happy. I am not grateful for what is in my life. ”  

People who suffer from anxiety are already dealing with feelings of guilt and shame. This phrase means to them that you think they are not doing enough. But someone who suffers from chronic anxiety tries with every fiber of his soul to be happy.

Try saying “I appreciate you” instead.

Appreciation is stronger than gratitude, and everyone should know that they are appreciated.

2. Don’t say, “You should relax.”

This is probably on the list of things that every person with chronic anxiety symptoms has tried and probably does regularly. Just because something works for you, don’t think that it will be a magical remedy for someone else.  

Instead, ask, “What brings you into the world?”

Love is one of the paths to peace.

3. Don’t say, “Everything will be fine.”

This will not help those who are suffering from anxiety, because anxiety abhors illusion.  

Instead, try, “I’m by your side. I will support you “

Anxiety is accompanied by a keen sense of loneliness. To break someone out of isolation, reach out and tell them that you are here to help and be a friend.

4. Don’t say, “Just be happy.”

This will mean that the illness is not serious, that it is just a matter of willpower and personal ability. The result can be even more discouraging and worsening.  

Instead, ask, “What can I do to help you feel happier?”

This will give the strength to return to the person from the emotional state in which he is stuck. He will hear and understand that someone is communicating with him, that you are on the same team. This is incredibly reassuring. It is very important to feel that someone is behind you and helps you move forward.

5. Don’t say, “It’s all in your head.”

Yes, this is a matter of human psychology, but this statement suggests that you can easily manipulate your irrational thoughts. This phrase completely devalues ​​feelings. 

Try “Let’s have some fun instead!”

Instead of doing psychoanalysis, you better do something enjoyable. Take a walk in the park, visit a bookstore together, or sign up for a fitness class. 

6. Don’t ask, “Why bother about this?”

It is common for anxious people to hear such questions. But they sound terribly condescending. These phrases suggest that you think the person shouldn’t feel anxious based on any information. But he feels, and this is his life.

Instead, try, “How can I help you feel more confident?”

You think you know what is really going on with someone. But we almost never know about what is going on inside others. Stretch out your hand instead of words. Show that you are there and ready to lighten the burden of others.

7. Don’t say, “There are people with much bigger problems.”

Anxious people are usually aware of this and already feel guilty about the anxiety, they suffer for this reason. The extra reminder makes them feel worse.

Try “Let’s Talk” instead.

If you are not a psychotherapist, you can hardly give any advice. The most rewarding thing you can do is listen, offer support, and refrain from judgment. 

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