What stops us from loving ourselves?

Today, people are coming to understand that love is not only an interpersonal feeling or behavior, but also an intrapersonal process, and that we need love for ourselves no less than the love of others, and maybe even more.

Unconditional Self-Love is full of constructive tips, tricks, and exercises. We share a useful passage.

What is self love

Self-love is a constant practice of self-acceptance, self-development and self-care. The need to love and be loved is as vital to us as water and air. Or perhaps the main component of this urgent need is the ability to love yourself? The concept of self-love is not new, and has become increasingly popular in recent years.

Self-love begins with appreciating yourself the way you are, being supportive and attentive to yourself, taking care of yourself.

Through this purposeful practice, which can and should be developed, we get to know ourselves better, and as a result we recognize our weaknesses and defeats (which is very important) and appreciate our strengths and victories more.

Self-love gives us amazing strength and empowerment, but it’s not just about eating our favorite foods or living on an island paradise. Self-love requires the utmost honesty and courage to admit where you are now and where you would like to be in the future, as well as perseverance in working towards your best version. This is an independent journey.

  • Self love is a purely subjective experience. Remember your uniqueness and bet on it. It is wrong to treat the concept of self-love as a peak to be conquered, because self-care must be constant.
  • Self-love involves a sincere desire and determination to clearly define your life priorities. In general, self-love can be interpreted as a comprehensive practice of recognizing one’s own value and significance, indulgent attitude towards oneself and self-development throughout one’s life.
  • The path of self-love is individual for everyone, and we define the concept itself in different ways. Think about what self-love means to you and write down your answer.

Why is it important?

Only by learning to take care of yourself and respect yourself can you take care of others. A person who does not love himself faces the following problems:

— Anxiety
— Commercialism — Frivolity — Self-neglect
— Criminal behavior
— Prejudice
— Defensiveness — Sadness — Shame — Depression — Stagnation — Hopelessness — Suicidal thoughts — Insecurity — Unhealthy lifestyle

While with love for themselves they come to us:

— Academic success
— Inspiration — Altruism — Love — Sense of belonging — Motivation — Career growth — Passion — Self-confidence — Quality relationships — Empowerment — Self-care — Encouragement and encouragement — Social support — Enthusiasm — Physical health — Happiness

– Parenting skills

What stops us from loving ourselves?

To overcome the obstacles to self-love, we need to understand what prevents us from loving ourselves and becoming happier. Everyone has their own barriers and difficulties along the way. Our past, present intentions, beliefs, personality traits, values, and goals combined can either contribute to self-love or, conversely, create serious obstacles. There are many variations, but there are also a number of common problems that prevent many of us from loving ourselves.


Physical, sexual and psychological abuse leads to serious problems. Survivors of abuse are often plagued by feelings of shame and guilt that prevent them from asking for help and being healed. Memories of long-standing resentment and cruelty emerge incredibly clearly and sometimes in the most unexpected way, making it difficult to live in the present.

Unfortunately, often the closest people to whom, in fact, we must fully trust, such as parents or a partner, are cruel to us. Their betrayal breeds distrust of themselves and others, problems with self-esteem, self-confidence and self-esteem.

Any form of violence entails negative consequences. Psychological abuse, for example, causes pain without obvious physical damage, so it is often ignored and not always recognized, although stick, stone and words hurt equally.

Insults, screams, threats, boycotts, ridicule, humiliation and excessive criticism are very painful and prevent a person from loving himself.


Comparing yourself to others is one of the most common ways to hurt yourself. It all starts with observation of others, which sometimes serves as a great motivation for us.

Constant comparisons that are not in our favor cause an obsessive negative reaction and can become a serious obstacle to self-love.

Comparison to gauge our progress is a useful tactic, but if each time we increase our negative self-talk, set unattainable standards, create self-destructive mindsets, and weaken our inner support, our ability to love ourselves is stifled.

Mental disorders

If your mental health is impaired and you are experiencing increased anxiety, depression, interpersonal problems and trauma, then getting timely professional advice and support will be the key to success on the path of self-love, which is extremely beneficial for people with such diagnoses and conditions.

A person’s futile attempts to love themselves may indicate hidden mental health problems that are important to address by contacting a specialist.

Identifying such a problem will be a powerful impetus to strengthen self-love. Your own desire, supported by professional help, will allow you to achieve success faster.


Existential psychologist Abraham Maslow named five basic levels of human needs: physiological needs, the need for security, belonging and love, respect and self-actualization.

A clear hierarchy of needs suggests that they must be implemented sequentially. Everyone is able to reach the top of Maslow’s pyramid, that is, the level of self-actualization. But you can enjoy this wonderful feeling only after providing the rest of the basic needs.

In order to increase self-esteem and self-development and truly love yourself, you must first satisfy the needs of the lower levels.

And although self-love can also be considered an urgent need, it is important to prioritize.

Ignoring the hierarchy of needs will lead to serious disappointments: you will spend a lot of energy on loving yourself, while this goal is obviously unattainable at this stage. It is unlikely that you would enroll in a course of higher mathematics without basic knowledge of arithmetic.

You should approach meeting your needs in the same way. For people who have nothing to eat or a roof over their heads (physiological and security needs), focusing on self-love is a luxury that cannot be afforded.

If you’re going through a difficult period in your life right now, it’s entirely justified to take a break on the journey of self-love and rebalance first.

Our need for respect encompasses how we see ourselves and how we are perceived by others. Although we rely heavily on the opinions of others as a mirror of our worth, it is important to remember that self-respect starts from within.

Therefore, our need for respect will be satisfied only if our perception of ourselves and the opinions of others are balanced. Needs of all levels are tested throughout life, and if we want to constantly stay on the path of self-love, then we need to satisfy our basic needs first.

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